Sometimes you just want a first-person shooter that gets straight to the point. No elaborate skill trees, no crafting systems, no lengthy conversations with characters who insist on explaining the history of the universe before letting you pick up a weapon. Just a gun, a room full of very unpleasant people, and the chance to make an absolutely terrible mess. COP BASTARD, developed by targim and published by Retrovibe, understands this perfectly. Set in 1990s Osaka, this gloriously unapologetic retro shooter puts players in the shoes of Katashi, a thoroughly disgruntled detective with an unusual approach to law enforcement and an even less conventional attitude to personal hygiene.
Drawing inspiration from the outrageous energy of early 1990s Japanese crime cinema and the heroic bloodshed films of John Woo, COP BASTARD is deliberately excessive. Its world is populated by Yakuza gangsters who are more than happy to shoot first and ask no questions, while Katashi operates according to an equally questionable philosophy: suspicion is apparently all the justification he needs. There is little interest in pretending this is a realistic police procedural. Instead, the game embraces its ridiculous premise and delivers a concentrated dose of old-school FPS action, complete with explosive firefights, outrageous healing mechanics, and enough flying lead to make an ammunition supplier very wealthy.
Old School Gunplay With a Modern Bite
The greatest strength of COP BASTARD is its commitment to straightforward, aggressive shooting. The game strips away many of the systems that have become commonplace in modern shooters, including character upgrades, elaborate perks and puzzle-solving. Instead, the focus is firmly on moving through hostile environments, clearing rooms and dealing with enemies before they have the chance to put Katashi permanently out of business. It is a wonderfully direct approach that feels refreshingly uncomplicated.
Combat takes place in tight corridors, cramped interiors and environments where enemies can quickly turn an apparently manageable situation into an unpleasant surprise. There is little room for hesitation when several armed gangsters are pointing their weapons at you. Every encounter demands quick reactions, sensible target prioritisation and an understanding of when to push forward and when to take a moment to regain control. The result is a shooter that rewards aggression without allowing players to become completely careless.
The weapon selection is another important part of the experience. Katashi has access to a satisfying collection of firearms, including a Beretta, a devastating double-barrel shotgun and a heavy magnum revolver, alongside additional weapons that help keep the action varied. Each firearm brings its own personality to the proceedings, and there is something particularly enjoyable about the sheer force of the heavier weapons. The shotgun is especially suited to the game’s close-quarters encounters, where a well-placed blast can turn a threatening room into a considerably quieter one.
The shooting has the sort of exaggerated impact that suits the game’s B-movie influences. Gunshots feel loud and forceful, enemies react violently to incoming fire, and the surrounding environments become increasingly battered as firefights develop. Furniture is destroyed, pipes rupture, doors splinter and debris accumulates, leaving the aftermath of each encounter looking like a particularly unpleasant insurance claim. These environmental details help give the action a satisfying physical quality, making the world feel more responsive than a collection of static shooting galleries.
Spit Happens: The Most Unusual Health System Around
Of all the ideas in COP BASTARD, the health mechanic is probably the one that will stick with players long after the shooting stops. Rather than relying entirely on conventional medical supplies, Katashi can accumulate charge by killing enemies and then use it in one of two ways. He can spend it to enter slow motion, giving him the chance to unleash a cinematic barrage of gunfire, or he can use it to spit on fallen Yakuza enemies and restore his health.
Yes, you read that correctly. This is a game in which one of the most important survival techniques involves spitting on dead gangsters. It is utterly ridiculous, thoroughly unpleasant and completely in keeping with the personality of its central character. More importantly, it gives players an interesting decision to make during combat. Do you preserve your charge for a dramatic slow-motion sequence, or do you swallow your pride, abandon your dignity and recover desperately needed health?
This risk-and-reward system works particularly well because it encourages players to remain aggressive. You need to keep killing enemies to build up your charge, but spending it on healing means sacrificing the opportunity to use slow motion. Conversely, saving it for a spectacular attack could leave you vulnerable if your health is already dangerously low. It is a simple mechanic, but one that adds a little tactical consideration to an otherwise straightforward shooter.
Slow motion is particularly effective at reinforcing the game’s cinematic influences. There is obvious pleasure in watching a room full of enemies become the unfortunate recipients of a carefully timed burst of violence while everything around Katashi appears to slow down. It captures that exaggerated action-movie feeling without requiring an elaborate combat system. The game knows exactly what it wants to deliver, and it is at its best when it allows players to enjoy the spectacle.
There is also the wonderfully excessive scoring system, which rewards players for putting additional rounds into enemies who are already dead. Most shooters encourage ammunition conservation and careful target management, but COP BASTARD is quite happy to reward a little unnecessary enthusiasm. It is a small detail, but one that says a great deal about the game’s attitude. Katashi is not here to win any awards for restraint.
A Manga Inspired Crime Story
The narrative takes a back seat to the action, but the presentation helps establish the world and its characters. The story unfolds through stylised comic panels that evoke the graphic presentation of games such as Max Payne. This approach suits the game’s crime-cinema influences, introducing its events without interrupting the action with lengthy exposition. There is a gritty, hard-boiled quality to the presentation, although the deliberately outrageous humour ensures that things never become too serious.
The setting of early 1990s Osaka is another important part of the game’s identity. Neon-lit streets, cramped karaoke bars and industrial hideouts provide an appropriate backdrop for Katashi’s violent journey through the Yakuza underworld. The VHS-inspired visual treatment gives everything a nostalgic quality, with retro textures and visual effects helping to recreate the atmosphere of an older generation of action cinema. It is not simply nostalgia for its own sake, either. The presentation complements the deliberately rough edges of the gameplay and gives the experience a recognisable personality.
The soundtrack and sound effects complete the package. High-energy synth rock provides an appropriately frantic accompaniment to the firefights, while exaggerated voice lines and heavy gunshot effects reinforce the B-movie atmosphere. The weapons sound suitably nasty, impacts have plenty of weight, and explosions help create the sort of noisy chaos that would make a respectable neighbour reach for the telephone. It is all wonderfully over the top, exactly as it should be.
Not Every Cop Gets an Easy Ride
For all its enthusiasm, COP BASTARD is not without a few frustrations. The campaign is relatively short, with an estimated completion time of around three to four hours. That is not necessarily a problem for a game built around concentrated arcade action, but players hoping for a lengthy single-player adventure may find themselves reaching the conclusion sooner than expected. There is an argument that a focused experience is preferable to one padded with unnecessary filler, and COP BASTARD certainly avoids wasting too much time. Nevertheless, a little more variety or additional campaign content would have made the package even more appealing.
Checkpoint placement can also make certain encounters more frustrating than they first appear. The game expects players to learn enemy positions, understand the layout of each room, and refine their approach through repeated attempts. That can be satisfying when you finally overcome a particularly difficult section, but replaying substantial portions after a mistake can become tiresome. It is a deliberate nod towards the tougher design philosophy of older shooters, although not every player will appreciate being sent back through familiar territory because one particularly unpleasant gangster caught them off guard.
The lack of modern progression systems may also divide opinion. Some players will appreciate the decision to concentrate on shooting rather than burying the action beneath layers of upgrades and unlockable abilities. Others might have welcomed a little more development as the campaign progressed. Personally, the stripped-back approach feels appropriate for the experience COP BASTARD is trying to deliver, but it does mean that the quality of the core gunplay has to carry almost the entire game.
The Verdict
COP BASTARD is an entertaining, unapologetically crude throwback to an era when first-person shooters were happy to let players loose with a collection of powerful weapons and a very large number of unfortunate enemies. Its greatest achievement is its personality. The combination of 1990s Osaka, hard-boiled crime cinema, VHS-inspired presentation and Katashi’s thoroughly questionable approach to policing gives the game an identity that is difficult to confuse with anything else.
The shooting is satisfying, the weapon selection delivers plenty of explosive entertainment, and the unusual spit-based healing system provides a genuinely memorable twist on the familiar health-management formula. Slow motion adds some wonderful cinematic moments, while the destructible environments help make each firefight suitably chaotic. There is also a pleasing sense of humour running through the experience, particularly in its scoring system and the sheer absurdity of its central character.
The short campaign and occasionally punishing checkpoints prevent it from reaching the very top of the genre, and there is little here for players looking for a sprawling modern FPS experience. But that is not really the point. COP BASTARD is a concentrated burst of retro-inspired violence that understands the appeal of getting straight into the action and having an absolutely ridiculous amount of fun along the way.
For fans of classic shooters, outrageous crime films and games that are not afraid to be a little bit stupid, there is plenty to enjoy. Katashi might not be winning any awards for professional conduct, but he certainly knows how to clear a room. Just try not to think too hard about where that healing technique has been.
